Just another Tuesday in February, the dark of winter as I can easily be drawn into morbid moments of self pity.  Walking ancient cobblestoned streets, listening to echoes of Slavic conversation riochet down the narrow streets through old town square on my way to lotus, buddhist centrum on Dlhoua Street.  The yoga helped.

The job is coming and the money not far behind, just a few more weeks of teaching English. Last week I had my final meeting at Strom, and agreed on a timeframe, salary and getting my visa so I can legitimately work abroad.  Thursday, čtvrtek, I go to Kralupy again.  Its not much pay but I do like the trainride.

Tomorrow is my most hated day and I am afraid to even leave my bedroom for fear of the death-like curse that seems to be chasing me throughout my life on this day.  I’ve  almost died twice now on Valentine’s day and know that this may be my last night on earth every February 13th because one night it will be.

Twelve years ago I was robbed at gun-point in Riverside, Florida.  A college student can’t afford much rent when also incurring the debt of loans for dorm not living in because not allowed with boyfriend.  We lived on Dellwood next door to a cocain runner and a downstairs from a pimp. Five years ago, I was in a car crash that nearly ended my life in the early morning hours on the 14th of February.

I walked to the giant Tesco earlier tonight before getting home. It’s cold and it started to snow, I wanted to run to the tram and go to Duende to see if anything good can come of it. I couldn’t be more empty inside but for the gypsy whispers telling me to follow my heart.

I had to stop myself because that’s just the kind of impulse that will make my Valentines day curse come true someday;  instead I bought myself a box of chocolates and some wine at Tesco, happy Valentines day…